My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
