These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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