did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
