trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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