I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
