I'm jealous of your bromance
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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