I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize