I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You can't special order awesome
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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