Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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