fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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