you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
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Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
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i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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