I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I enjoy the company of your penis
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