Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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