We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
