just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
