Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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