I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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