maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
