Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
