everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
