We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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