buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
