I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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