I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
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A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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