Say something about gay babies.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
As shirtless as possible
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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