My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
