SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
