there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
