There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
