im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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