I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
