I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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