Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
