Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
