One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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