i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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