there were more penises there than on chat roulette
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
