Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
