i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize