And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
