Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
