I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
