I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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