Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
