just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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