a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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