just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
