I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
