i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
