When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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