I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
