the condom got lost in my hair
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
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Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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