I'm gonna have a badass scar
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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