I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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