nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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