Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
