Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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