Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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