You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid