ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.