youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"