My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
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Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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